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metallickitty

radioactive musical gun truck
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I GOT A WACOM

1 min read
I gots a wacom! Therefore i should proceed with GLORIOUS FREE COMMISSIONS! (i think that's what they're called?)

Just send me a message. The only thing i won't do is:
(too) sexual stuff :eyes:

that's pretty much it. i'm sure someone will find a way to add more to this list, but until then~

ALSO, I"M LEARNING SPANISH SO IF YOU SEND A SPANISH MESSAGE WITH ENGLISH TRANSLATION I WILL LOVE YOU. possibly put a bit more heart or something into a commission? Or maybe i'll just draw that one kid who was 'heart' from Captain Planet as an easter egg in a drawing.

Look at me all full of myself. i'm not very good at drawing, but i find it fun, so to anyone who finds my slightly above average stickfigures neat: send me a message : D :iconimhappyplz:

:icondiabetesplz:
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Bio Tard

6 min read
Bio Tard

Character description:
Oxycotton-addicted, bipolar, psoraisis-victim, verbally/physically/mentally abusive-towards-super-nice-wife, power-hungry, whiney, man-child with sciatica who is disabled due to injuries at work because he worked shitty jobs for lots of money because he swears he is not bipolar and spends all his money he earned on stupid shit so that by the time he gets disabled he has NOTHING saved up to help his ass. got that?

Great! Let's move on : D :iconyesplz:


Day Zero: in other words, he wasn't supposed to come today
-leaves messages:
"Hey, steph...imma try coming over......*horrible drugged slurr* heard from grandpa you're preetty buisy skdjf o0q34;ufkj *more sluurr * /end long ass message

:iconstarplz: my reaction: I've been telling you that for weeks, wtf did grandpa say that sunk in now? :iconwtfplz:

second message: HEY STEPH! I"VE GOT A GUN, YOU'VE GOT  A CAT- LET'S SHOOT IT!! :iconlaughplz:

:iconstarplz: my reaction:....seriously..? where the fuck did that come from?


Day One:
:bulletred: 4:30  am: a call that wakes me up after I'd finally fallen asleep at 2:30 am.... guess who? :iconimhappyplz:

:iconstarplz: my reaction:
-immediately finishes cleaning house (is VERY cranky this early...)
-immediately leaves house then for parents
-mom, around 11am, tells me to go get the cat im taking care of for a while yay, she likes the cat! Fuck, I HAVE TO GO GET IT >.>;;;;

:bulletred: 11 am, Bio is not home yet...after starting at 4:30 am to get here from chicago.
:iconstarplz: my reaction: didn't have one, his wife called, worried. Eventually I found out he'd sideswiped another vehicle lightly due to his horrrifyingly drugged state and NO ONE at the gas station he parked at would let him travel – so they drove him to grandpas so apparently the world isn't filled with assholes, entirely yet – go figure they transported one instead.

Day Two:
:bulletred: I get the fuck out of there – so sue me :iconshrugplz: grandpa dealth with the many hours of never ending talkathon-whilst-drugged

Day Three
:bulletred: dad wakes up complaining of chest pains feeling like broken ribs. Grandpa takes him to hospital :iconhospitalplz: :icondoctorplz: Dad has a voice of a small broken child as this happens but is also super depressed and saying things like:  
"steph, your dad is broken -they might as well take me out back and shoot me. "
and
"I have to live, punishment for my sins...god'll make me live"

:iconfacepalmplz:

:bulletred: 5:45 pm, I get a call. He has pnemonia in a right lung. He's been ignoring it for a month until his pain killers could NO LONGER FUCKING COVER THE PAIN OF IT. Rlly?  Genius, man.

:bulletred: 10:00 pm, grandpa goes to my work.   Apparently, Bio took six oxycotton pills at once this morning 'just to get out of bed' and OD'd...grandpa literally tore hair by chunks out of his arms to get him to wake up and failed.

:bulletred: nurse slapped him awake..which worked.
"What the fuck are you doing!?! I'm fucking sleeping!"
nurse: O_o...

things got worse when he was told he had to stay the night. Grandpa took away his billfold and everything so he could leave suddenly, cause if they took the IV out, he'd passout/possibly stop breathing again since he went into a FUCKING COMA  from his OD.

(( Dads reaction:Brain damage, my dear friend, where've you been ?? I NEED MOAR.))

Day Four
:bulletred: 8:30 am. Granpas had 2 hours of sleep, cause he had to constantly deal with dad phone calling him and bitching everyone under the sun out. A nurse asked him this morning if he knew why he had to stay at the hospital.

Nurse: Well?
Dad: I have pnemonia,
Nurse: You had an overdose and we had to keep you
Dad: LIKE HELL I DID, I only took one oxy cotton!
Nurse: You went into a coma, stopped breathing, and we had to counter act the massive amount of oxy in your system- you told us yesterday you took 6....
Dad: MY PARENTS (grandpa) ARE LIARS, THEY FUCKED ME UP AND KNOCKED MY TEETH OUT WITH A WOODEN SPOON GROWING UP
  
:iconstarplz: my reaction: ...dad has all his teeth in..they're nasty, but there and...umm..not broken. My grandpa took him to the hospital and made sure he was safe.

Dad: *calls grandpa telling him he;ll get acab after  grandpa told him already that he took his wallet and he couldn't pay the driver. * finally grandpa goes and gets him, but dad is so upset he is hellbent on DRIVING home again..


cause that worked out so well, last time?

With the drugs out of his system he seems totally fine....no screaming, and he can walk better. O___O


conversation with nurse:

Nurse: he's in total denial
grandpa: Really?
:iconspockplz:
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Dear Teacher,

6 min read
BITE ME.

-She writes her edits of your assignments in cursive i can't read. When she does write it, guess what, it's all along the side and merging into other notes she wrote perpendicularly

- As she lectures us on assignments, she flips stations like a radio on acid - playing rock stations on a hippy channel and drawing mental images of her overly described adventures living alone with her cats twenty-four, seven. Emphatically she announces she has HAD BOYFRIENDS BEFORE - SHE SWAIRZ, SRSLY. :iconlaplz:
:iconcatladyplz:

Confused? For the love of GOD, do not ask her a question: she will jump you like one of her cats on 9 Lives cat food and devour your soul for daring not to listen.
Entering into her class room is like rolling a die with three sides:

1) She'll eventually breach the subjectriddled with holes and limp, long winded, and over generalized concepts of it that melt it to a puddle of 'wtf did she mean by all this?

2) She'll discuss her political views and stand on a soap box for two hours before mentioning the subject matter relevant to class

3) She'll force us to watch a movie with her lonely ass self, saying that we can leave but loading the die so that if we do we lose the participation points (OH MAI) :iconfreakplz:


Are you seeing frustration? :iconfrustrationplz:



nnoooo..no you are not..:iconcakeplz:

EXAMPLE TIEM:


:iconredplz:#1

first 5 weeks of class: little to nothing to do...a few essays
last 5 weeks of class: Two huge ass, overly generalized papers due with not enough description on her part, she's boycotting black board, tells us to 'listen' like she did back in college (when i'm sure they actually knew how to teach back then), and assigning more essays on TOP of these big essays as well as READINGS IN TEH BOOK...oh and a quiz.


:iconredplz:#2
she huddles us into a library room filled with magical computer boxes. We've all had that class which makes us learn how to use EBSCO host and research data bases, right?
Students: o boy...>.>;
teacher: LISTEN BETTER THAN YOU DO ME, BACK IN MY DAY PEOPLE LISTENED
one poor, stupid, stupid, stuuupid student: I have other classes that made me do this twice this week - can i work on the mini report for this class while the librarian lectures?
teacher: No. I don't know why you're even asking. What part of 'library discussion' says 'work on other essay?? I don't care if you had this class twice this week- if you don't like this class you can leave as you payed for this class to learn this!!!
one poor, stupid, stupid, stuuupid student: ummmm *just wants her to stop bitching so he agrees emphatically and ass kisses ...it fails horribly*
teacher: Honestly, i'd like to see you leave and then grade your rough draft of the mini report coming up! It'll get a big fat F if any citations are wrong at all - just because you didn't listen! blargblargblarg *for a really long time. The class is trying not to laguh and cry at how she's being herself, again
:icondevilplz:  :iconevilplz:


:iconredplz:#3:
me: hey, i was wondering what kind of citations our mini report had to be: MLA or APA?
teacher: Weren't you listening . I. said. it . in . the. l.e.c.t.u.r.e.....D:<<<<<
me: .... *never gets answer until i ask a student who also doesn't know...so this poor bastard asks...
teacher: Well, since no one is using their listening ears and can't write notes like college students should....


note: the dots at the end do not mean she trailed off and began explanations,they are showing that she keeps on going



now pretty much repeat all of that for EVERY class day... 3 hours of this. .. .


last example is last  thursday:

*2 and a half hours slowly, slowly, slowly, fucking writing a SINGLE GODDAMNED APA citation on the board. She managed to turn the idea that a squiggly underline of a work meant 'italicize' into a ten minute speech on  how she didn't have the faintest idea how to write a cursive italicized word outside the computer. REALLY? BRAINSTORM.
last hour of class:
teacher: I think we should all watch a bit of 'And the band played on" - an AIDS movie.
students: ummmm..kaayy.....
teacher: i'll let you decide whether you want to watch it or leave..
students: LEAVE
teacher: not now....after my potty break!
students:.....ummmm..kaaaay
teacher: *back* alright lets watch!!
computer wont work, spends half hour having a student try to figure it out. she still didn't say whether we could leave or not, so we're trapped , and all attempts towards the random either/or statement she gave us end in silence on her part.
me: *after hearing students not realizing they can leave anytime, and not worry about 5% participation points, gets up and leaves*

*fancy swivel, midwalk: TADA!!*

*only one brave enough to do it*

*gets to parking lot*

*realizes i forgot to giver her my goddamned, mother fu**** essay i wrote....turns back to fateful class room*

*they're JUST getting the damned thing to work. I realize as it starts the teacher says things which imply she wants us to stay longer than 20 minutes for a TWO HOUR MOVIE AFTER THREE HOURS OF OUR CLASS HAS ENDED AND IS PASSING.

teacher: I don't know about you guys, but this is a lot cooler than my t.v at home - so i'll  watch it all here :eyes:

students: >.>>>>::;;;; lawl wut? :iconlawlplz: :iconlolwutpearplz:

teacher: *politically biased comments at Reagan's appearance on screen....* "BOOOOOO, HISSSSS :iconpoliticsplz:

students: *begin discussing politics due to her random outburst in movie, predictably*

teacher: BE QUIET. WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING POLITICS DURING MOVIE

me: :iconheaddeskplz:*at twenty minute mark when DVD skips* BYE




this calls for: RETURN OF THE :icondiabeetusplz:
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Dear Teacher,

6 min read
BITE ME.

-She writes her edits of your assignments in cursive i can't read. When she does write it, guess what, it's all along the side and merging into other notes she wrote perpendicularly

- As she lectures us on assignments, she flips stations like a radio on acid - playing rock stations on a hippy channel and drawing mental images of her overly described adventures living alone with her cats twenty-four, seven. Emphatically she announces she has HAD BOYFRIENDS BEFORE - SHE SWAIRZ, SRSLY. :iconlaplz:
:iconcatladyplz:

Confused? For the love of GOD, do not ask her a question: she will jump you like one of her cats on 9 Lives cat food and devour your soul for daring not to listen.
Entering into her class room is like rolling a die with three sides:

1) She'll eventually breach the subjectriddled with holes and limp, long winded, and over generalized concepts of it that melt it to a puddle of 'wtf did she mean by all this?

2) She'll discuss her political views and stand on a soap box for two hours before mentioning the subject matter relevant to class

3) She'll force us to watch a movie with her lonely ass self, saying that we can leave but loading the die so that if we do we lose the participation points (OH MAI) :iconfreakplz:


Are you seeing frustration? :iconfrustrationplz:



nnoooo..no you are not..:iconcakeplz:

EXAMPLE TIEM:


:iconredplz:#1

first 5 weeks of class: little to nothing to do...a few essays
last 5 weeks of class: Two huge ass, overly generalized papers due with not enough description on her part, she's boycotting black board, tells us to 'listen' like she did back in college (when i'm sure they actually knew how to teach back then), and assigning more essays on TOP of these big essays as well as READINGS IN TEH BOOK...oh and a quiz.


:iconredplz:#2
she huddles us into a library room filled with magical computer boxes. We've all had that class which makes us learn how to use EBSCO host and research data bases, right?
Students: o boy...>.>;
teacher: LISTEN BETTER THAN YOU DO ME, BACK IN MY DAY PEOPLE LISTENED
one poor, stupid, stupid, stuuupid student: I have other classes that made me do this twice this week - can i work on the mini report for this class while the librarian lectures?
teacher: No. I don't know why you're even asking. What part of 'library discussion' says 'work on other essay?? I don't care if you had this class twice this week- if you don't like this class you can leave as you payed for this class to learn this!!!
one poor, stupid, stupid, stuuupid student: ummmm *just wants her to stop bitching so he agrees emphatically and ass kisses ...it fails horribly*
teacher: Honestly, i'd like to see you leave and then grade your rough draft of the mini report coming up! It'll get a big fat F if any citations are wrong at all - just because you didn't listen! blargblargblarg *for a really long time. The class is trying not to laguh and cry at how she's being herself, again
:icondevilplz:  :iconevilplz:


:iconredplz:#3:
me: hey, i was wondering what kind of citations our mini report had to be: MLA or APA?
teacher: Weren't you listening . I. said. it . in . the. l.e.c.t.u.r.e.....D:<<<<<
me: .... *never gets answer until i ask a student who also doesn't know...so this poor bastard asks...
teacher: Well, since no one is using their listening ears and can't write notes like college students should....


note: the dots at the end do not mean she trailed off and began explanations,they are showing that she keeps on going



now pretty much repeat all of that for EVERY class day... 3 hours of this. .. .


last example is last  thursday:

*2 and a half hours slowly, slowly, slowly, fucking writing a SINGLE GODDAMNED APA citation on the board. She managed to turn the idea that a squiggly underline of a work meant 'italicize' into a ten minute speech on  how she didn't have the faintest idea how to write a cursive italicized word outside the computer. REALLY? BRAINSTORM.
last hour of class:
teacher: I think we should all watch a bit of 'And the band played on" - an AIDS movie.
students: ummmm..kaayy.....
teacher: i'll let you decide whether you want to watch it or leave..
students: LEAVE
teacher: not now....after my potty break!
students:.....ummmm..kaaaay
teacher: *back* alright lets watch!!
computer wont work, spends half hour having a student try to figure it out. she still didn't say whether we could leave or not, so we're trapped , and all attempts towards the random either/or statement she gave us end in silence on her part.
me: *after hearing students not realizing they can leave anytime, and not worry about 5% participation points, gets up and leaves*

*fancy swivel, midwalk: TADA!!*

*only one brave enough to do it*

*gets to parking lot*

*realizes i forgot to giver her my goddamned, mother fu**** essay i wrote....turns back to fateful class room*

*they're JUST getting the damned thing to work. I realize as it starts the teacher says things which imply she wants us to stay longer than 20 minutes for a TWO HOUR MOVIE AFTER THREE HOURS OF OUR CLASS HAS ENDED AND IS PASSING.

teacher: I don't know about you guys, but this is a lot cooler than my t.v at home - so i'll  watch it all here :eyes:

students: >.>>>>::;;;; lawl wut? :iconlawlplz: :iconlolwutpearplz:

teacher: *politically biased comments at Reagan's appearance on screen....* "BOOOOOO, HISSSSS :iconpoliticsplz:

students: *begin discussing politics due to her random outburst in movie, predictably*

teacher: BE QUIET. WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING POLITICS DURING MOVIE

me: :iconheaddeskplz:*at twenty minute mark when DVD skips* BYE




indeeeeed......is it me?


noooooooooooo....

this calls for: RETURN OF THE :icondiabeetusplz:
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Dear Teacher,

5 min read
BITE ME.

-She writes her edits of your assignments in cursive i can't read. When she does write it, guess what, it's all along the side and merging into other notes she wrote perpendicularly

- As she lectures us on assignments, she flips stations like a radio on acid - playing rock stations on a hippy channel and drawing mental images of her overly described adventures living alone with her cats twenty-four, seven. Emphatically she announces she has HAD BOYFRIENDS BEFORE - SHE SWAIRZ, SRSLY. :iconlaplz:
:iconcatladyplz:

Confused? For the love of GOD, do not ask her a question: she will jump you like one of her cats on 9 Lives cat food and devour your soul for daring not to listen.
Entering into her class room is like rolling a die with three sides:

1) She'll eventually breach the subjectriddled with holes and limp, long winded, and over generalized concepts of it that melt it to a puddle of 'wtf did she mean by all this?

2) She'll discuss her political views and stand on a soap box for two hours before mentioning the subject matter relevant to class

3) She'll force us to watch a movie with her lonely ass self, saying that we can leave but loading the die so that if we do we lose the participation points (OH MAI) :iconfreakplz:


Are you seeing frustration? :iconfrustrationplz:



nnoooo..no you are not..:iconcakeplz:

EXAMPLE TIEM:


:iconredplz:#1

first 5 weeks of class: little to nothing to do...a few essays
last 5 weeks of class: Two huge ass, overly generalized papers due with not enough description on her part, she's boycotting black board, tells us to 'listen' like she did back in college (when i'm sure they actually knew how to teach back then), and assigning more essays on TOP of these big essays as well as READINGS IN TEH BOOK...oh and a quiz.


:iconredplz:#2
she huddles us into a library room filled with magical computer boxes. We've all had that class which makes us learn how to use EBSCO host and research data bases, right?
Students: o boy...>.>;
teacher:LISTEN BETTER THAN YOU DO ME, BACK IN MY DAY PEOPLE LISTENED
one poor, stupid, stupid, stuuupid student: I have other classes that made me do this twice this week - can i work on the mini report for this class while the librarian lectures?
teacher: No. I don't know why you're even asking. What part of 'library discussion' says 'work on other essay?? I don't care if you had this class twice this week- if you don't like this class you can leave as you payed for this class to learn this!!!
one poor, stupid, stupid, stuuupid student: ummmm *just wants her to stop bitching so he agrees emphatically and ass kisses ...it fails horribly*
teacher: Honestly, i'd like to see you leave and then grade your rough draft of the mini report coming up! It'll get a big fat F if any citations are wrong at all - just because you didn't listen! blargblargblarg *for a really long time. The class is trying not to laguh and cry at how she's being herself, again
:icondevilplz:  :iconevilplz:


:iconredplz:#3:
me:   hey, i was wondering what kind of citations our mini report had to be: MLA or APA?
teacher: Weren't you listening . I. said. it . in . the. l.e.c.t.u.r.e.....D:<<<<<
me: .... *never gets answer until i ask a student who also doesn't know...so this poor bastard asks...
teacher: Well, since no one is using their listening ears and can't write notes like college students should....


note: the dots at the end do not mean she trailed off and began explanations,they are showing that she keeps on going



now pretty much repeat all of that for EVERY class day... 3 hours of this. .. .


last example is last  thursday:

*2 and a half hours slowly, slowly, slowly, fucking writing a SINGLE GODDAMNED APA citation on the board. She managed to
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

I GOT A WACOM by metallickitty, journal

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