BITE ME.
-She writes her edits of your assignments in cursive i can't read. When she does write it, guess what, it's all along the side and merging into other notes she wrote
perpendicularly- As she lectures us on assignments, she flips stations like a radio on acid - playing rock stations on a hippy channel and drawing mental images of her overly described adventures
living alone with her cats twenty-four, seven.
Emphatically she announces she has HAD BOYFRIENDS BEFORE - SHE SWAIRZ, SRSLY. Confused? For the love of GOD, do not ask her a question: she will jump you like one of her cats on
9 Lives cat food and devour your soul for
daring not to listen.
Entering into her class room is like rolling a die with three sides:
1) She'll eventually breach the subject
riddled with holes and limp, long winded, and over generalized concepts of it that melt it to a puddle of 'wtf did she mean by all this?2) She'll discuss her political views and stand on a soap box for two hours before mentioning the subject matter relevant to class
3) She'll force us to watch a movie with her lonely ass self, saying that we can leave but loading the die so that if we do we lose the participation points (OH MAI)
Are you seeing frustration?
nnoooo..no you are not..
EXAMPLE TIEM:#1first 5 weeks of class: little to nothing to do...a few essays
last 5 weeks of class: Two huge ass, overly generalized papers due with not enough description on her part, she's boycotting black board, tells us to 'listen' like she did back in college (when i'm sure they actually knew how to teach back then), and assigning more essays on TOP of these big essays as well as READINGS IN TEH BOOK...oh and a quiz.
#2
she huddles us into a library room filled with magical computer boxes. We've all had that class which makes us learn how to use EBSCO host and research data bases, right?
Students: o boy...>.>;
teacher: LISTEN BETTER THAN YOU DO ME, BACK IN MY DAY PEOPLE LISTENED
one poor, stupid, stupid, stuuupid student: I have other classes that made me do this twice this week - can i work on the mini report for this class while the librarian lectures?
teacher: No. I don't know why you're even asking. What part of 'library discussion' says 'work on other essay?? I don't care if you had this class twice this week- if you don't like this class you can leave as you payed for this class to learn this!!!
one poor, stupid, stupid, stuuupid student: ummmm *just wants her to stop bitching so he agrees emphatically and ass kisses ...it fails horribly*
teacher: Honestly, i'd like to see you leave and then grade your rough draft of the mini report coming up! It'll get a big fat F if any citations are wrong at all - just because you didn't listen! blargblargblarg *for a really long time. The class is trying not to laguh and cry at how she's being herself,
again #3:
me: hey, i was wondering what kind of citations our mini report had to be: MLA or APA?
teacher: Weren't you
listening . I. said. it . in . the. l.e.c.t.u.r.e.....D:<<<<<me: .... *never gets answer until i ask a student who also doesn't know...so this poor bastard asks...
teacher: Well, since no one is using their
listening ears and can't write
notes like college students
should.... note: the dots at the end do not mean she trailed off and began explanations,
they are showing that she keeps on goingnow pretty much repeat all of that for EVERY class day... 3 hours of this. .. .
last example is last thursday:
*2 and a half hours slowly, slowly,
slowly, fucking writing a SINGLE GODDAMNED APA citation on the board. She managed to turn the idea that a squiggly underline of a work meant 'italicize' into a ten minute speech on how she didn't have the faintest idea how to write a cursive italicized word outside the computer. REALLY? BRAINSTORM.
last hour of class:
teacher: I think we should all watch a bit of 'And the band played on" - an AIDS movie.
students: ummmm..kaayy.....
teacher: i'll let you decide whether you want to watch it or leave..
students: LEAVE
teacher: not now....after my potty break!
students:.....ummmm..kaaaay
teacher: *back* alright lets watch!!
computer wont work, spends half hour having a student try to figure it out. she still didn't say whether we could leave or not, so we're trapped , and all attempts towards the random either/or statement she gave us end in silence on her part.me: *after hearing students not realizing they can leave anytime, and not worry about 5% participation points, gets up and leaves*
*fancy swivel, midwalk: TADA!!*
*only one brave enough to do it*
*gets to parking lot*
*realizes i forgot to giver her my goddamned, mother fu**** essay i wrote....turns back to fateful class room*
*they're JUST getting the damned thing to work. I realize as it starts the teacher says things which imply she wants us to stay longer than 20 minutes for a TWO HOUR MOVIE AFTER THREE HOURS OF OUR CLASS HAS ENDED AND IS PASSING.
teacher: I don't know about you guys, but this is a lot cooler than my t.v at home - so i'll watch it all here
students: >.>>>>::;;;; lawl wut?
teacher: *politically biased comments at Reagan's appearance on screen....* "BOOOOOO,
HISSSSS students: *begin discussing politics due to her random outburst in movie, predictably*
teacher: BE QUIET. WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING POLITICS DURING MOVIE
me: *at twenty minute mark when DVD skips* BYE
this calls for: RETURN OF THE